My thoughts about life, family and knitting. I am a knitter of over 30 years, just starting to spread my wings on designing my own items. I knit for fun, for my prayer shawl ministry at Sugarloaf UMC, and for my sanity. This blog will chronical my life and what is happening day by day. Grab a cup of tea and enjoy my short rants.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Back in the Saddle again? Maybe.

Wow, 2 months since I posted and so much has happened.  I turned 47 on March 10th, my mom passed away on February 9th the same day my daughter turned 6.  I am teaching knitting/crochet on Wednesday nights at my church.

Life is just churning away and I am not on the band wagon.  I have stepped aside to take in losing my mom.  She was such a force in my life,  for good in many ways that I never even thought about.  Having been named after her has made it hard to even hear my name lately, never thought that would happen.  Never thought much about being named after her, but now I feel I have to live up to that name.

She made me promise her that I would lose weight and get healthy as I have already started showing signs of heart disease and that was a medical problem I know she hated.  It caused a lot of problems for her and she and I talked quite a few times about how I was walking down the road she did and she did not want that for me or my family.  I now understand what she was talking about.  I think so much about what would happen if I was not here for my 2 kids.  They are only 6 and almost 9 and I want to be here to help them grow up, become great adults and see my grand kids (if there are any) and enjoy them!!  I do worry about them and all the things in their lives that will and can come up, things that happened to me that I never want to happen again.  The bullying in school, the missing school for being so sick that I had to have tutors and almost not graduating High School not for grades but for missing days from school. 

I now have a fire in my soul to live up to the promise to my mom.  I know she is walking with me everyday, watching over my whole family.  I can feel her with me and I know she is smiling! 

I am back to knitting.  I have to finish a sweater for my daughter today, and make some shawls for my ministry at church.  We are getting low on them.  I will be posting more knitting items and things that I see around that are new.  I need to find a way to make extra money while being home, hate having a "job" where I have to be on someone Else's schedule.  I would love to have the opportunity at a moments notice to go into school and help there if I am called.  Might even do more with the PTA, have been asked to join some committees.  We shall see.  Have to pray on it and see what God wants for my life.